2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’.  These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people.  This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.
I really need your help.. The thing is I like one guy very much. Since the first time I saw him, I felt the connection I have never felt with someone else before.. This time I am sure he is the One. I see myself marrying him one day… even when I feel bad, I still have that picture in my head of me saying “I do” to him… He has all the qualities that I wanted in a guy.. He even is born on the same day as me.. Since I saw him looking at me, I felt he liked me… however, I’m a type of person who doubts a lot. like really a lot… Long story short, on December last year I added him on facebook and he messaged me immediately. It really showed that he was interested in me. An we had so much in common that I couldn’t even believe this can be true… so we were chatting on and off. we both are shy… and i remember that I would message him of desperation sometimes.. I messaged him in February.. we had a nice conversation, but for some reason I started doubting and crying… I was broke… then I found (again) the LOA, your articles were very inspiring..I was feeling quite good and would sometimes get on a level that I didn’t need him to make me happy. Then a miracle happened, after a month of our conversation, he asked me out. It was an amazing date. He was so happy then.. he even blushed a few times.. then, after a week he asked me out again. and again it was a wonderful time that we shared.. and after the date he said this: “there will be infinity of dates like this”, and the look in his eyes and.. and his smile said even more – he was very very happy when with me. He was glowing. However… i for some reason shied away and didn’t even message him after a date.. the next day I saw him and he was very said when I said hello to him. I could see the sadness in his eyes… then I felt guilty… i started doubting… and things got worse… I tried to fix the situation after more than a month… I asked him out myself. but he couldn’t go.. and then it was a breakdown for me… it was an awful period… I was very negative.. and i saw hi groupmate being with him at university all the time… it took me a couple of months to feel better… at the end of June I was feeling good. I was relaxed… And then I got a message from him. It was the nicest compliment I had ever received..I will not go into details, but I was on and off with my emotions… I thought that in September (because we study at the same university, except for he is a year older than me) things will be very good.. but they are not… we only say hello to each other… and most of the time ignore each other like we don’t exist… his groupmate is still being flirty with him and I don’t know what to do. It’s his last year in university.. I don’t have much time and this puts even more stress on me.. One of my friends keeps telling me that if he cared he would have done something by now… it hurts, because… because I had a chance to have him in my life but because of my fears and doubts I messed it all up.. Another friend says that I have to do something.. that I have to message him… but I don’t feel good now.. I’m not inspired and I don’t know if I ever will.. I simply love this person with my whole heart, and he is amazing… and I’m scared to lose him.. Any advice how I could calm down and go in the direction of my desire? because I feel like i’m going the opposite way. Maybe someone is in a similiar situation as me?
Step 1: Essentially, you need to make the decision that you really want to attract this life partner. Then, truly commit to the idea of spending the rest of your life with this person. Making this commitment may involve processing old wounds (e.g. via journaling or therapy). Hopefully, the past can be left behind and you can opt to embrace hope instead of fear.

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