So who is your Soulmate?  What does he or she look like? What are their qualities? What is it that makes them unique and attractive to you? For many of us, this journey towards our Soulmate begins by first experiencing what we do not want. Funny how life works, isn’t it? If you have been, or currently find yourself, in a relationship where you find that things are not flowing, it feels like it’s too much work, you argue and fight a lot, you don’t feel like you are compatible or complement each other, the passion is long gone, you constantly feel anxious about the relationship and you’re struggling to be happy, instead of feeling stronger, supported and inspired you feel weakened, or the person is in another relationship and not available to you, chances are that you’re not with your soulmate.

Hello, I am hoping you can help me with this…. I’ve read that being excited to manifest your old love, or just a new relationship in general is okay. I feel so excited when the Universe shows me my signs of my desire. I’ve recently realized that whenever I see those signs, it makes me anxious to receive. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from feeling anxious to receive when I see these signs?
Here is my LOA success story from a few years ago. A few years before this LOA success I had unwittingly used LOA along with Robert Kiyosaki’s book to go from nothing to owning about 5 properties in a year and half. I borrowed £2500 on a credit card to start. Everything lead off that. About 3 years into my property venture, I was stuck. I had enough passive income from them to get by but one of them was in need urgent need of renovation or conversion to flats and I didn’t have the money for either and renovating would be a waste as there was much more profit in converting to flats . My sister showed me The Secret. I reluctantly watched it and then found it REAALLY exciting. I tried it as I had nothing else to try.
It is also important to remember to work on feeling better incrementally, and not trying to manifest things that are just too much of a stretch for our CURRENT vibration. For example, someone really struggling with money would probably not really feel it was possible to start making 10,000 a month in income, and to set that type of goal without already being able to feel that abundant right now, would result in lots of frustration, and the lack of results would just worsen the energy. It is also a good idea to put your focus on just feeling better overall, and not too much on specific manifestations. A lot can happen without specific focus when we just raise our vibration overall. You will notice cool things start to happen, and this will strengthen your trust in the process, which will make it easier to manifest specific things.
1) The Soulmate List. The first list is a list of ‘Green Light’ qualities and attributes that you’d like your soulmate to have.  In other words, this is what you want to “get” in a Soulmate.   In this list, you’ll describe all of the physical and non-physical characteristics you envision your soulmate to have. Here you want to include things that will begin to describe the kind of man or woman who would really make your heart sing.

Don’t force yourself to do things that don’t feel good to you, if you really don’t want to do them. So, if you hate going to bars, don’t go every weekend. You want to act from a place of lightness and inspiration when you do act. You don’t want to act from a place of force or fear. There is never anything we must do to attract a certain thing into our life. If taking certain actions makes you feel good in the sense it nurtures a feeling that you will get find this relationship, then go for it. Just don’t get attached to the online dating, the blind dates, and the various outings that will put you in contact with the types of people you hope to meet. Have fun with it.


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2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’.  These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people.  This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.

Many of us have had the experience where we keep on attracting the same kind of a person into our lives, and not in a good way! It happens because of the powerful law of attraction, but you don't have to keep on repeating the same mistake. What you need to do is to find a way to bless the past relationships, and to get yourself into a better feeling place regarding past loves, otherwise, you will keep on attracting the same type of a person. This is another topic that is discussed in this e-book.
It is also important to remember to work on feeling better incrementally, and not trying to manifest things that are just too much of a stretch for our CURRENT vibration. For example, someone really struggling with money would probably not really feel it was possible to start making 10,000 a month in income, and to set that type of goal without already being able to feel that abundant right now, would result in lots of frustration, and the lack of results would just worsen the energy. It is also a good idea to put your focus on just feeling better overall, and not too much on specific manifestations. A lot can happen without specific focus when we just raise our vibration overall. You will notice cool things start to happen, and this will strengthen your trust in the process, which will make it easier to manifest specific things.
6) Use this time to grow in your ability to be more patient, more loving, more giving, more forgiving and more gentle and kind to yourself.  Get your ducks in a row, explore new hobbies and interests and keep on growing your current friendships.  Continue to work on all your mental and emotional blocks to love and, most importantly, continue to have faith that he or she is out there and that you can’t miss each other.

This fear gets triggered in a variety of ‘romantic’ situations–you may not consciously be aware that it is fear, it may manifest itself in a variety of ways—and people that are good matches for you can’t make their way in.  For example, you may meet some great people who you get along with great, but they just won’t be attracted to you, and it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. In fact, if you were to ask someone why he wasn’t ‘feeling it’, he probably wouldn’t have a good answer. He wouldn’t’ be able to verbalize it.
Last year, my relationship ended suddenly. In hindsight, I had fears about abandonment and deservability, and I now see that these were limiting beliefs that colored my reality. Over the past year, I have worked on healing myself from the inside out and am incredibly proud of how I have grown. There has been no drama, just a quiet respect that if he felt that he needed space to grow and evolve, I loved him enough to let him go. While contact has been minimal, I still wake up each day with a smile and a heart filled with love and promise. He is with me even though we are apart; and I have hope beyond my current reality that our paths will cross again, and comfort and peace in that certainty.
“Since your workshop on Finding Love I have ‘found’ my ideal relationship- but it was in a different way to how I thought! And it’s all from writing lists of appreciation about my current partner and my current life. I refused to dwell on what was annoying me about him… I also focused on how it would feel in my ideal relationship. And what happened was this: my existing relationship has transformed. I was about to leave so it’s particularly strange. I transformed my attitude- and he transformed. I haven’t settled; I’m deeper in love than I’ve ever been. A good tip to share is I left all the ‘how’s’ and ‘who’s’ to the Universe thanks to the Universe List and, as ever, the Universe delivers. I highly recommend your work- and that’s no small thing coming from a self-confessed ‘workshop junkie’.”

the law of attraction says think of the qualities you want in your partner, and theres a girl whom i like and the qualities also matched, i don’t know she love me or not but we just smile to each other whenever we meet each other , but i can feel a lot more than that. . Can you please help me how should i use this law in this case . i”m really confused .
My fiance and I had a very close knit relationship. As a matter of fact, we didn’t like being apart much at all. Unfortunately, life had us spend the last 8 months away from each other, because of work. It took its toll on the relationship which had already started to suffer because of financial reasons. And one day, almost out of the blue (well I could kind of feel it coming) , two days after telling me how he couldn’t wait to see me, and adored me, he sort of picked a fight, and broke up. From one day to the next, he completely closed the door on me. We went from constantly talking and missing each other, to nothing at all. I have been going through a very difficult time especially because I know that he didn’t break up because he didn’t love me, but he simply was not fulfilling his dreams fast enough because of our financial issues and felt that he had sacrified a lot for my ambition and put his on the backburner. We have had to speak a little because 5 years with someone, you can’t just go NC like that. Logistics had to be sorted out etc…. But he has become very cold all of a sudden, and I heard that it was the only way for him to get over it. He’s also moving to French Polynesia for 2 years. He says that moving forward and far away helps him deal with getting over us… In any case, our relationship was beautiful on the whole, but we simply had a break down in communication when it came to dealing with the pain of separation and money issues. I want him back of course and I will apply your advise from “Manifesting Love”. I know he is my soulmate as I am his. That much I know. However, he is moving so far away. I am going to be in the US and him in Tahiti. Do we even stand a chance? He could meet someone else, or just forget about me….I am lost. It’s only been 6 weeks and I am grieving. I don’t want someone better. I want him because we were something awesome. We just allowed fear to rule our lives….Need some TLC and encouragement :(… Thanks
I know the LOA says when you want to manifest a specific person you have to be willing to lose them – you have to let go and be ok with not being with them in order to manifest the relationship you want. It also says that you should visualize the relationship you want with this person as if you already have it. How can one do both? How can I imagine being in a relationship with this person but let them go and be ok with not the being with them at the same time?

Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.

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