Craig Ballantyne is the author of The Perfect Day Formula: How to Own the Day and Control Your Life. Craig has been a contributor to Men's Health magazine for over 17 years. Today he teaches his gift to high-performing entrepreneurs how to squeeze more out of their days, increase their income, and make more quality time for their families in his Perfect Life Workshop and Work-Life Mastery programs. Craig used his own advice to overcome crippling anxiety attacks in 2006, and he'll teach you his 5 Pillars of Success so you can increase your income, decrease your work time, and live the life of your dreams. Learn more about Craig at craigballantyne.com
1) I have had a rather bad break-up with my boyfriend. All in all, he wants to move on completely and says that while he loved me and cared about me at the time of the break-up he simply wasn’t happy anymore and wants to move on to a new city, life etc… We have so financial dealings together but he says he no longer wants to worry about it because keeping in touch about cash isn’t healthy and we both need to move on. He has made it clear that there is no way he would get back into a relationship with me. And of course, after being told this I wrote him an angry email giving him a piece of my mind. While I love him more than life itself and visualize us being together again I must say that I find it very difficult to imagine us together, based on the way he seems to feel (or not feel…) about me. How do I let go of thinking of the outcome when all I can do is think about him and that perhaps he will meet someone else soon, or already has etc….
So, what changes can you make in your life right now that would make you feel better about your financial situation? Is your lack of a savings account gnawing at you? What could you do to start padding it a bit more? Are you using your credit cards a bit too liberally, when you should really be using cash? Do you have any expenses now that you can eliminate or reduce? Is it high time for a budget? Could you start cooking at home more rather than eating out five nights a week?
“After several months of doing your processes, and feeling better, I joined my local walking group- something I never would have done before. I’ve met new friends and then, on an event where we got together with other walking groups, I got to know a man who I’ve been dating ever since (it was last October). There’s something different about this relationship- rather than waiting for it to go wrong or ‘checking up’ on what he’s doing- I feel relaxed. Your Universe List process has really kept me grounded through it all, and stopped me going into worries on this subject- and so many others.”
That night, I laid on the cold hardwood floor in our living room, my hair matted to the side of my head with tears that had finally run dry from my own dehydration. The only thought that floated in my semi-conscious brain was, “How the hell can I do this?” I’d tried so hard to think of a plan, anything, but nothing came, except that question over and over again. It seemed completely impossible. Yet somehow in that moment survival mode also kicked in, and with it came even more questions. Of course we’d have to move right away, but where? I didn’t have family who could take us in. And we’d need to sell everything we owned, but how? And I’d need a job, but doing what? And how could I afford to work when daycare would take up most of my salary?
Again, we can only attract that to which we are currently a match, so this means we can’t wait to feel better about our lives until what we want comes. You have to make peace with your single status. You have to start finding ways to feel happy about your life now as it is. This doesn’t mean pretending to like things you don’t, but diligently working on adopting a perspective that actually makes you feel better. It is about focusing on the things in your life that are good, and building on that energy. It is about making time to do things that make you feel good, that help produce the feelings you think you would get from being in a relationship.
Sorry for the late reply and thank for your answer 🙂 Actually what I was mostly aiming at was of course manifesting signs of my loved one before Christmas but having the goal of spending the holidays with him. I haven’t seen him in so long, he is quite far away and I have no idea how that will manifest itself but I am leaving it up to the universe to make it happen because Christmas used to have a very special meaning to us. Also during our book club and going over your book “how to manifest a specific person” one of the readers wanted to know if it was alright for her to chant (she is an assiduous buddhist) her buddhist mantra while using LOA. She wanted to know if it was compatible eventhough it is the same philosophy, she was afraid that perhaps practising two different methods might delay her manifestations in any way…I do not know if this is something you can help her with! Loving our little book club which is growing too!!!!
Sure, you may have your fights, disagreements, etc.. I am not talking about creating some ‘perfect’ relationship where you never experience conflict or get annoyed by each other. I am talking about a relationship that feels right to the core, that doesn’t have all this ‘stuff’ in it that we really don’t want, but put up with because we think we have to.
Just like the good old tracks that the sled follows down the mountain. And so we tell the same old story, over and over, about why we have our childhood wounds, and about how bad our previous relationship was, how we got dumped, how we’re not being loved the way we want to be, how unequal this relationship is, how we have these abandonment issues, how they cheated on us, how we’re too old to find love, too fat, too skinny, too white, too black, too gay, too straight, too poor, too rich, too unstable, too unreliable, afraid of commitment, too demanding… Blah, blah, blah. PLEASE STOP! The more you tell the same old story, the more you’re perpetuating it in your experience and the more you’re blocking love from coming into your life. Why? Because you keep focusing on it.
Unfortunately, we are not so great at naturally going to a happy place. But, with a strong intention, and some practice focusing, it is not as hard as you think. And, it’s okay if you don’t feel good every single second-you will still have your moments. The key is building up that momentum behind the good energy so that it starts becoming the predominant force.
Once you’ve made your decision, a big part of understanding how to manifest love with a specific person lies in getting a clear sense of what it is about this person that makes you believe that looking for love with them will truly make you happy. As such, part of making a manifestation commitment involves beginning to analyze yourself in a new, deeper way.
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