Shelly Bullard, MFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Love Coach and Spiritual Teacher. She's the author of the eBook: How to Become the Most Attractive Version of Yourself which she offers for FREE (click here to receive your free copy). She's also the instructor of the popular mbg courses: How To Become The Most Attractive Version of Yourself & How to Attract a Partner Who's Ready for Deep, Devoted Love. Shelly believes that when you access the experience of Love within yourself, your relationships become deeply fulfilling and you become the person you’re meant to be. She was named the “Love Guru” as one of the 100 Women to Watch in Wellness by mindbodygreen, and her deepest passion is living and practicing love and relationships as a spiritual path. To learn more about how she can help you create more love in your life, visit her at: shellybullard.com.
The better your relationship with yourself, the better chances you have of finding a great relationship with someone else. Remember, attraction is all about how we feel, and nothing will get you into a better feeling space to let love in, than genuinely loving yourself more. Yeah, yeah, that hippy dippy love yourself stuff. The more you these types of sentiments rub you the wrong way, the more you need to work on it, trust me.
Hello, I am hoping you can help me with this…. I’ve read that being excited to manifest your old love, or just a new relationship in general is okay. I feel so excited when the Universe shows me my signs of my desire. I’ve recently realized that whenever I see those signs, it makes me anxious to receive. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from feeling anxious to receive when I see these signs?
Remember our experience is simply a mirror of what is happening within, and your money situation is no exception. Once you start making that shift internally, your outside experience has no choice but to shift along with it. That is how attraction works. No matter what your financial situation is like right now, it can get better. No matter how certain you are that money can only come to you through certain channels, you are wrong, plain and simple. 🙂
I know this can sound like a tall order. We are so conditioned to basing how we feel on outside events. It is easy to feel good when something happens that gives us a reason to—cultivating warm, fuzzies in the absence (or what we perceive to be the absence) of something to be happy about can take a bit of work. Feeling good even if things happen that you don’t like can take some practice. Living reactively will really put a damper on the attraction process, and it is a habit that needs to be addressed.

Hi Elizabeth..AJ here again…I bought your book last night and read it in one setting! Good stuff! I will be reading it again today so I can start the work properly and really soak it all in. I have a question…my guy and I haven’t talked to each other for 2 weeks. But we are both still on the dating site we meet on few months ago. I know I am doing no contact, but with him still being able to see me and I being able to see him…does that kill the mystery of him missing me and will it hinder me from fully letting go? I am just trying to stay open and not block anyone that maybe better…even though I want the chance to see where things can go with him with the proper realignment. I just want to open the gate to draw him in and others, to go with what’s best for me. Thanks in advance!
Since the Law of Attraction teaches that like attracts like, it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that attracting love requires you to be a loving person! And it’s not only the romantic sense of love that matters here. There are little things that you can do to spread love every single day—one of the best examples is simply being nicer to strangers.
2) Visualising and meditating is pointless without work. Mark Cuban says a famous quote which is: "Work like there is someone working 24 hours a day to take it away from you". Me getting my goals is a 2 part process. 1) Meditating and visualising and 2) working incredibly hard. Both go hand in hand, if you do one without the other, you will not (according to my experiencing) manifest it into reality. The reason is because simply meditating on something is wishing, which is not the same as visualising and working.
2) The Second List: Deal Breakers. It’s now time get clear about what I call the ‘Deal Breakers’.  These are the ‘red lights’ that you want to watch out for when you start meeting people.  This is a smaller list where you identify at least three qualities that if this person were to exhibit, you would not engage in a relationship with them. In other words, the deal would be off.
So who is your Soulmate?  What does he or she look like? What are their qualities? What is it that makes them unique and attractive to you? For many of us, this journey towards our Soulmate begins by first experiencing what we do not want. Funny how life works, isn’t it? If you have been, or currently find yourself, in a relationship where you find that things are not flowing, it feels like it’s too much work, you argue and fight a lot, you don’t feel like you are compatible or complement each other, the passion is long gone, you constantly feel anxious about the relationship and you’re struggling to be happy, instead of feeling stronger, supported and inspired you feel weakened, or the person is in another relationship and not available to you, chances are that you’re not with your soulmate.
My pleasure. I’m glad you found the response helpful. Melody is great, I have been a fan of hers for a long time. Focusing on that will do wonders for you..just wait and see! Getting what we want doesn’t have to involve doing a bunch of stuff we don’t and it doesn’t have to be painful, contrary to the more common ways of thinking. Several years ago, I visited Korea for a week when I was on vacation from my teaching job in Japan. I was only able to see Busan, but loved it. I would love to go back and see more of the country.
Deal-breaker items could include: if the person has some form of alcohol or substance addiction or abuse, if they are married or in another relationship, if they are physically or verbally abusive, and even if they smoke.  For some people, smoking is not a big deal, but for me, I just can’t stand kissing someone after they’ve had a smoke, so I decided to include it in my deal-breaker list.  What are your deal- breakers? All you need is three.
Hi JG – I’m glad you’re enjoying my book on attracting a specific person! Detachment will come with time. Don’t worry so much about whether you’re doing things right. The Law of Attraction isn’t about perfection. Also, as I discuss in the book, focus on doing things that make you happy. It’ll be far more effective than trying to cover the doubts up with affirmations.
Anyone who is stuck in indolence and debts can notice that he has come to this by a gradual and systematic refusal to do what he likes and what he believes in as a whole. That's why we must always do the things that truly fill us with joy, and for that, you don’t usually need much money. That's what is waiting for us here and now, what all our loved ones are waiting for. It always begins with what is available, here and now, from a small to an ever-increasing thing.
The key is having clarity, and knowing what it is that you want. Why? So that you can identify it when you see it, feel it and hear it, and – most importantly – so that you won’t be sidetracked into a relationship with a person who is not the highest possibility for you.  A person who is not your soulmate. Remember, there’s no need to settle for less than what you want. It’s like going to a supermarket without a grocery list when you’re feeling very hungry. If you’re anything like me, you may have bought a whole bunch of stuff you did not need but may have forgotten to buy something as basic as milk and sugar, which you really needed.
Hi Onique – You need to look over your thoughts, beliefs, emotions from the past to see why you created it in the past. You need to look at your current thoughts, beliefs and emotions to see why you are creating it now. There’s probably at least one thought/belief that has been repeated for 10 years and is still there. Changing your thoughts/beliefs allows your life to change.

You’ve got to put a roadblock on the sled path. Stop telling the OLD story and start telling the NEW story! The NEW story of how you want it to be. The story of what it’s like to be in the most magical, loving relationship with your Soulmate. Starting now. You’re going to start catching yourself when you’re chatting with friends and the OLD story starts to creep out.  Notice it. Then shift to the NEW story.
Develop a belief in what I call the “reverse paradigm shift”. In other words, go for it before you have all the answers. Those so called negative energies (known as cognitive dissonance) are actually the magical seeds of creation and unlimited possibilities. Your destiny and your abundance will always be preceded by confusion and uncertainty. Ask anyone who’s been on the journey.

Physical compatibility in a relationship need not always mean love. There are many versions of love, and romance and lust are two basic ones. True love includes commitment, trust, respect and contentment. If these things lack in a relationship, it is definitely not love. A lot of people justify physical violence with passion. Passion in a relationship is definitely a natural phenomenon, but there’s a thin line between being passionate and violent. If you find your partner being too harsh on you, both physically and emotionally, then it’s not love.
Pеrhарѕ оnе wау оf learning hоw tо uѕе thе law оf attraction tо manifest money iѕ lооking аt hоw уоu dоn't manifest money whеn working with thiѕ universal law. Fоr example, уоu саnnоt uѕе thе law оf attraction in thiѕ wау tо manifest anything, money included. Yоu саnnоt say, 'I wаnt mоrе money bесаuѕе I'm poor, I'm lacking in money аnd thаt iѕ whаt I wаnt tо соmе mу way.'
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It is also important to remember to work on feeling better incrementally, and not trying to manifest things that are just too much of a stretch for our CURRENT vibration. For example, someone really struggling with money would probably not really feel it was possible to start making 10,000 a month in income, and to set that type of goal without already being able to feel that abundant right now, would result in lots of frustration, and the lack of results would just worsen the energy. It is also a good idea to put your focus on just feeling better overall, and not too much on specific manifestations. A lot can happen without specific focus when we just raise our vibration overall. You will notice cool things start to happen, and this will strengthen your trust in the process, which will make it easier to manifest specific things.
You are welcome. You seem to already have that deeper knowing..now it is all about building that trust and working a bit with your mind to be more accepting of the beliefs and new reality you are looking to create. Everything that happens contains a lesson to strengthening our manifesting so whatever happened with that guy will be valuable in evaluating what is going on inside and moving forward with greater clarity.
That was March 2006. It was the first time I had shared my vision with anyone. The words, and this dream, were now out there in the universe. Were they out attracting things for me? I don’t know. But I believe it was a watershed moment. Still, there was a long road – requiring plenty of action – to travel before it would all come together five years, three months, and seventeen days later.
I love this guy for more than 1 year. We had a short relationship, I really loved him but he didn’t pay much attention to my feelings. I started to doubt if he really loves me or just want to sleep with me. He didn’t call me or even text me regularly except the times he need to have se’x ! I couldn’t believe that he was a jerk! He sometimes treated me well and appreciated my kindness to him. Now after 1 year I can’t forget him or be with other guys. I think he didn’t love me and this thought make me hate him ! What should I do? I can’t focus on my own life.
“In the vibration of appreciation all things come to you. You don't have to make anything happen. From what you are living, amplify the things you appreciate so that it sit he dominate vibration you are offering and then only those things that are a vibrational match to that can come to you. Then sit back and know, "You ain't seen nothing yet!!!” — 18 likes
That week I sold everything we owned on Craigslist and filed for divorce. I took the money I made from our belongings to pay for first and last month’s rent on a really tiny, super-shitty two-bedroom apartment. I had just enough left over for one more month of rent and a few groceries. That was all the money I had in the world: I didn’t even have a bank account. My sister convinced me to get on food stamps, just until I got on my feet, and though I cried when the case worker took my story, I knew I had no choice. I applied for every job I could find, but interviews were few and far between. When the second month came and my rent money was gone, I sold my wedding rings on Craigslist for a fraction of their value; enough for one more month’s rent. When the women came to pick up my rings, she looked around our little apartment at my twins running around in their diapers and said, “I don’t want to know. Please don’t tell me the story.” She didn’t want my “bad luck” giving her new wedding rings negative juju. 
“After several months of doing your processes, and feeling better, I joined my local walking group- something I never would have done before. I’ve met new friends and then, on an event where we got together with other walking groups, I got to know a man who I’ve been dating ever since (it was last October). There’s something different about this relationship- rather than waiting for it to go wrong or ‘checking up’ on what he’s doing- I feel relaxed. Your Universe List process has really kept me grounded through it all, and stopped me going into worries on this subject- and so many others.”
Firstly, find yourself a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Start by closing your eyes and relaxing your body entirely. Breathe in and out very slowly, and make the breaths as deep as possible (on your belly). It is very likely that all kinds of thoughts will disturb you at this time, but you have to observe them and not let yourself to get emotionally involved with them.
As I’ve mentioned a few times before, I learned some time back that no one was responsible for my happiness but me. When I look at the big scheme of things, I’ve got it great. I may not have much but everything I have I own. I’ve struggled from time to time with money issues too since coming online not sure if I could make my bills but I always did. So I know that it’s not the end of the world if I’m late with a payment, although I rarely am. I’m obsessed with everything being on time. LOL!!!
And also note that start with the little things first coz u will achieve them fast and once u get them u will understand the power of universe… Think abt a cup of coffee with ur friend, make evrything clr(whether u want him/her to invite u or u r gonna invute him/her) … n keep thinking abt it if this is exactly what makes u happy, stay happy n keep thinking abt ur dream. if u see him daily bt talk rarely then soon u will notice that he/she is being attracted to u magically and one day u will be surprised whn he/she invites u:) please also note how fast u manifest the things also depends upon what u want coz if u hv 50 dollors in ur pocket and u wish to hav a plane as a gift then u might hav to wait for years to get that(just an example). The universe will send u ideas, through the ppl he has got. He will nt only send things to u bt also attract you to ur wishes. U will actually see and feel things coming to u dramatically and one day u will achieve it for sure… n believe me it works so just try with some simple things first to believe it. and yes keep practicing gratitude daily… be grateful for the eyes u have…for the family u hav…for the life u hav… for the knowledge u hav.. for the frnds u hav… be grateful for everything u hav.

The Law of Attraction is a very simple spiritual law.  If your energy field matches the results you wish to achieve, you will dramatically increase the chance of those results manifesting in your reality.  Your beliefs, attitudes, emotions, dominant thoughts, and subconscious thoughts all contribute to our your energy field and determine what you will attract into your reality.
This step is important because those competing signals can be quite strong. Weaken the signal or change the direction of those thoughts like this: Approach those feelings with the love and compassion that you would feel towards a lonely, small child or a hurt animal. When you love yourself, you open up the possibility to receive your greatest desires, and you begin to only desire the things that are best for you.

By the way, you can apply this magic formula to anything: Health, relationships, financial abundance, your business, your career. Even if you bounce from one to the other it’s fine. The universe doesn’t care. So long as you invest in yourself. So long as you’re improving SOME aspect of your inner or outer life every day by 1%, you’ll experience the magic results faster than you’d imagine possible.

But, once you start seeing your external experience is a mirror of what you feel and believe, you will make the amazing realization that changing your internal world will change what you bring into your life. If you don’t believe you have to settle or compromise, you won’t. If you believe you will find the right person, you will. If you know you don’t have to end up alone, you won’t. Sound too simplistic? Is the skeptical part of you being activated and resisting this? Are you thinking of all your experiences that have ‘proved’ your current set of beliefs, beyond a shadow of a doubt, and saying to yourself that I don’t know what the hell I am talking about? But, this is really all there is to it.Life is so much easier than we make it out to be.

“I was looking for a relationship and when I came to your group I realised that was my problem- I was looking too much, and all the time. It was a tiring process and I had done all of the dating sites and just met with disappointment. I could never square the advice I had been given- on the one hand I needed to create vision boards and focus on love or do actions, and on the other hand I needed to let it go because ‘you find love when you’re not looking for it’. The problem was I couldn’t stop looking no matter how much I tried. I realised I needed a hobby to replace my current hobby- looking for love- which wasn’t helping me find love and also wasn’t making me feel happy. So I put it all on the Universe List and joined a local political group of all things. Although I had read in certain spiritual books that politics could be ‘negative’, it felt good to me, and it was my guidance so I followed it. At first shy, I got my confidence up and began to speak to small groups of people. I became passionate about my local community. And then I met my ‘one’ as I now call him, through the organisation. The thing is I didn’t join the group to meet a man- and that seems to me a major point- I just followed my inner nudge to do something that I enjoyed and there he was.”

Learning how to connect with yourself has a lot to do with tuning into your own need. Consequently, then meeting those needs. When you make a habit of this, you’re much more able to attract love with someone who will nurture you. One way to ensure you take better care of yourself while you’re looking for love is to set aside an hour a day where you commit to pursuing a hobby you love! This should be no matter what other, more “productive” things you could be doing.

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